Sunday

 
 
 
  
"But the bird, like many other philosophers, seemed as he looked at the reddleman to think that a present moment of comfortable reality was worth a decade of memories." (1.10.3)
 
 
 
 
"Only a man accustomed to nocturnal rambles could at this hour have descended those shaggy slopes with Venn's velocity" (4. 3. 327)
  
 
 
 

The Heath...My Destination.

The Heath is so beautiful, and I must watch over those who inhabit it...

At my time in Egdon many came to me in want of direction. Miss Thomasin twice in fact the second time just recently with her anxiousness she told me "It is so silly of me not to know Egdon better, and I cannot think how I came to lose the path. Show me quickly, Diggory, Please!" (5. 8. 360) So of course I helped, for I know this place as if it were the back of my very own hand. 

When I'm in Egdon I feel at peace. I am so at peace that I can easily rest my head and I don't want to depart, no mater the need. "Venn was loth to depart, for all on earth that interested im lay under this roof." (5. 9. 370)

I am able to find my home in just the light of the dim moon. This place is just a map in my mind. "I ascended the valley in a mathematically direct line towards my distant home in the meadows." (6. 1.383)

Rejected suitors take to roaming as naturally as unhived bees; and the business to which he had cynically devoted himself was in many ways congenial to Venn. But his wanderings, by mere stress of old emotions, had frequently taken him an Egdon direction, though he never intruded upon her who attracted him tither. (1.9.9)
I am the native because of my desire to help Thomasin.And even when I left for a few months, I had to return because of her. I will always return to Egdon Heath in the end. No matter what happens, this is where I will always end up. The Heath was my first destination, and it will always be my last.  

I am like a mirror of the heath. It is a part of me, and I am of him. The heath comforts me when I feel weary.


A Handwritten & Heartfelt Letter from My Heart's True Love

I have in my possession a letter, "some two years previous to this time",  from Miss Thomasin. (1.9. 84)  I hold onto it tightly and don't let it out of my site for fear of losing it. It is her goodbye to me and her informing me of the love that is absent from her heart for me. How it ached to read it, and how it aches still as I read it again and again. "Since the arrival of that letter on a certain autumn morning long ago, the reddleman and Thomasin had not met till today. During the interval he had shifted his position even farther from hers...." (1.9.8) Yet, I compose myself and move on towards my destination.  I should have the right to go there, that is where I, the native, belong. Instead Wildeve steals her heart and I'm pushed away from my place. 

Saturday

The Native

 

I am the native. Once a dairy farmer, but now the reddleman. And i was fine with being the eye of Egdon Heath. But once i saw Thomasin say "I do" to Wildeve, i had to leave. I left Egdon Heath. (2. 8. 169) Cleared my head. No one saw me for months. But i had to return. Edgon is my home. I have to put my heart aside, and be there for those i love. I cannot give up my commitment to watching over the Heath. If i don't, then who will? Someone has to look out for others. And that person is me. The Native, Diggory Venn.



Rejected suitors take to roaming as naturally as unhived bees; and the business to which he had cynically devoted himself was in many ways congenial to Venn. But his wanderings, by mere stress of old emotions, had frequently taken him an Egdon direction, though he never intruded upon her who attracted him tither. (1.9.9)

I am the native because of my desire to help Thomasin.And even when i left for a few months, i had to return because of her. I will always return to Egdon Heath in the end. No matter what happens, this is where i will always end up. The Heath was my first destination, and it will always be my last.  

I am like a mirror of the heath. It is a part of me, and i am of him. The heath comforts me when i feel weary.

A Generous Love

Two years. It had been two years since i had last spoken to her. I have seen her- been watching over her and keeping an eye out for her. "On this occasion Venn arrived on Egdon Heath only to cross to the other side...yet he suddenly began to feel himself drifting into the old track of manoeuvring on Thomasin's account." (4.4.268) But when i heard her following me that day- and her saying she needed my help, i knew something was terribly wrong. I feel terrible that Damon Wildeve is not treating Thomasin the way she deserves. Sneaking around with another woman, the marriage license failure, it's not right. But i just want her to be happy. If Damon is the one she wants, i will put her needs before my own heart. I will do anything in my power to help her be happy with Damon. I have heard some say "the reddleman's love was generous." (1.9.85) I must talk to Eustacia, the other woman, and convince her to let Thomasin be happy with Damon. If only i could be with her...

A Reddleman

Reddleman:  noun, plural, red·dle·men.  
    One who travels the country marking flocks of sheep with a red mineral called "reddle", a term for red ochre.

Why would i choose to leave my fathers trade as a dairy farmer, and become a reddleman? A trade that has stained me red from head to foot. I had to. If being a dairy farmer- which is a way higher class job- wasnt enough, then why even do that? I chose to become a reddleman because honestly, i can hide behind this trade. Thomasin wrote that it was the reason of my trade, that her aunt would not approve of me. She said:


       "Another reason is my aunt. She would not, I know, agree to it, even if i wished to have you. She likes you very well, but she will want me to look a little higher than a small dairy farmer, and marry a professional man..." (1. 9. 86)


This may or may not be true. Maybe Mrs. Yeobright would approve of me. Maybe this is just an excuse for Thomasin to reject me. All i know is, every time i read these words over and over, it pains me. I love her so much, and she just does not see me. So, this is why i chose the reddleman trade. I wish to have no one but her. And if i can not have her, then i do not want anyone. Being a reddleman helps me hide myself more.

As the reddleman, it give me the advantage of watching over Egdon Heath. I am like the eyes of the Heath. I can watch over Tamsie and those in her life, and make sure she is happy. As a reddleman, i am invisible to those around me. No one really notices me. "most ghosts be white; but this is as if it had been dipped in blood" (770) And with this i can easily watch over those i love. I am part of the Heath now, it is my home.


Friday

A Promising Poem

A poem. A story. A memory.


"To sorrow
I bade good morrow,
And thought to leave her far away behind;
But cheerly, cheerly,
She loves me dearly;
She is so constant to me, and so kind.
I would deceive her,
And so leave her,
But ah! she is so constant and so kind."

If only...If only I could just leave her. Each time I try to go. I find myself right back where I started. If only I could just leave her. (Page 4 of the Introduction)